May 7 · 2014

Summary of Romeo and Juliet

romeo: im so sad
romeo: ill never be happy
romeo: a party sure why not ill just sulk around an- WOAH
romeo: WHO DAT
romeo: SHE GOT DA BOOTY
romeo: imma dance with her
romeo: *dancin wit teh juliet*
juliet: dafuq are you
romeo: shh *kiss*
juliet: :oo
*party over*
romeo: AYYY LOOK I FOUND DAT LADY'S HOUSE
romeo: LADY
romeo: HEY LADY
juliet: OMG HI I REMEMBER YOU
romeo: yeah its me hey wanna get married
juliet: dont you think its too soon
romeo: idk
juliet: brb
romeo: k
juliet: HEY YEAH LETS GET MARRIED TOMORROW
romeo: AWW YEAH I BET THIS PUTS ME ABOVE MERCUTIO AND BENVOLIO IN MAN POINTS
*next day*
rome and juli: FRIAR MARRY US PLEASE:
friar: idk and ROMEO WEREN'T YOU JUST SULKING OVER ROSALINE LIKE YESTERDAY
romeo: yeh
friar: ok fine ur married
rome and juli: yaaaay
*some time later*
tybalt: WELL SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND CALL ME A MONTAGUE IS THAT ROMEO
mercutio: excuse you dont talk bout my friend like that
tybalt: shut up mercutio *stab*
mercutio: WAAHAHAH IM DED *he die*
romeo: hnnn
tybalt: ....
romeo HNNN
tybalt: ...
romeo: hnnnHIYAAAA *stab*
tybalt: oH NO IM DED AHH *he die too*
prince: ohmygod why did i JUST tell you yesterday about fighting
romeo: i sorry
prince: no ur banished
romeo: HWWHWHHAAAT YOU BANBISHED ME
romeo: *runs to friar* IMMA KILL MYSELF*
friar: no i have plan just go to mantua ok
romeo: k *leaves*
juliet: FRIAR HELP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I KNEW FOR LIKE 1 DAY JUST GOT BANISHED IMMA KILL MYSELF
friar: NO JULIET I HAVE A PLAN you drink this potion you look dead you be put in capulet tomb until you wake up and romeo find you and you run away together
juliet: ok
juliet: *goes home and drinks potion*
nurse: hey juliet rise and shi- OOOH MY GOD LADY CAPULET COME HERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
lady capulet: wha- OH NOO OH NO okay lets throw her in the tomb of dead people
nurse: k
juliet: *in da tomb* zzZzzZZzzzZ *not actually dead just sleepin*
romeo's servant: AYY YOO ROMEO I GOTS NEWS FOR YA
romeo's servant: JULIET'S DEAD
romeo: WHAT
romeo: WHAaaAaaaT
romeo: OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND POISON MYSELF BEFORE LOOKING INTO THE SITUATION AT ALL OR CONTACTING THE FRIAR OR ANYTHING
romeo: *buys potion*
romeo: *breaks into the tomb of dead capulet people*
romeo: oh my god its juliet wow she doesn't even look dead
romeo: but im sure she is
romeo: *kiss juliet*
romeo: *drinks poison*
romeo: he ded
juliet: *yawning* YAWWWN oh i can't wait to see my rome- WHAT DAFUQ
juliet: IT'S ROMEO NEXT TO ME
juliet: HE DED
juliet: *grabs sword and stabs herself*
oh yeah and romeo also killed Paris in the tomb by the way forgot to add that b/c apparently killing tybalt wasn't enough
friar: *comes in cell*
friar: uh oh
prince: WHAT DIS
CAPULET: WHAT DIS
LADY CAPULET: WHAT DIS
MONTAGUE: WHAT DIS
CApULET: *strokes montagues face* brother
that's it that's the whole story WELL SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND CALL ME A MONTAGUE IS THAT ROMEO this tho
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      a relic…. of a bygone age…
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