Hollie, there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while:

I am not your boyfriend or your husband anymore.

I’m not even real, I’m from the Disney world, and yes, I’ve even cheated on you with Tinkerbell. She’s so beautiful and sexy and is also a fictional character, how can I possibly resist her?

You’re growing up now, kid. You’re sixteen years old. It’s time for you to leave me alone. I find your fantasies creepy, humans and crickets can not even partake in coitus, logically.

You also need to stop being so rude to others and get over the fact our love is not real and it will never be real. I’ve grown tired of it, and I think it’s time I told you this now.

You creep me out and I do not love you. I’d be with anyone but you, you’re not my type, okay?

Sorry for turning you down.

Sincerely, Jiminy Cricket.

magesource: Jiminycricketfan007

submitted by -Anonymous