hipster-trichster:
“ 2makeyewsmile:
“ Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman:...

hipster-trichster:

2makeyewsmile:

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

that was a wild ride

(Source: 2makeyewsmile-blog, via ouiatchouan-deactivated20160317)

  1. beltkatemo reblogged this from kmoss91
  2. jessiemwilhelm reblogged this from armethaumaturgy
  3. zatchz reblogged this from zatchz
  4. ecbilly121 reblogged this from kuradoodles
  5. carpeted-bathroom-floor reblogged this from ruinedchildhood and added:
    my body won’t let me laugh at this it hates cops too much
  6. maxinezorualuna reblogged this from nms-manga-and-other-stuff
  7. nms-manga-and-other-stuff reblogged this from jodehexists
  8. mismatchedhair reblogged this from jodehexists
  9. yourloversage reblogged this from lillimer-the-glitter-lover
  10. instant-pillows78 reblogged this from jodehexists
  11. lillimer-the-glitter-lover reblogged this from juztgurlythingz
  12. yellow-trafficone reblogged this from juztgurlythingz
  13. hinoto0 reblogged this from hinoto0
  14. conzytina reblogged this from digidydavid
  15. theshawneaevelyn reblogged this from bumblebryy
  16. lorsmanzapy1975 reblogged this from dpink07
  17. sugawaracrowshi reblogged this from sugawaracrowshi
  18. stresssed--out reblogged this from trashboat
  19. 2makeyewsmile-blog posted this