FUCK YOU, BALTIMORE! If you’re dumb enough to buy a car this weekend, you’re a big enough schmuck to come to Big Bill Hell’s Cars! Bad deals! Cars that break down! Thieves! If you think you’re gonna find a bargain at Big Bill’s, you can kiss my ass! It’s hard to believe that you’re such a stupid motherfucker, you’ll fall for this bullshit, guaranteed! If you find a better deal, shove it up your ugly ass! You heard us right, shove it up your UGLY ASS! Bring your trade, bring your title, bring your wife! We’ll fuck ‘er! That’s right! We’ll fuck your wife! Because in Big Bill Hell, you’re fucked six ways from Sunday! Take a hike, to Big Bill Hell’s, Home of Challenge Pissing! That’s right, Challenge Pissing! How does it work?! If you can piss six feet in the air straight up and not get wet, you get NO down payments! Don’t wait! Don’t delay! DON’T FUCK WITH US! Or we’ll rip your nuts off! At Big Bill Hell’s! The only dealer that tells you to fuck off! Hurry up, asshole! This event ends the minute after you write us a check! And it better not bounce or you’re a dead motherfucker! GO TO HELL! Big Bill Hell’s Cars! Baltimore’s filthiest and exclusive home of the meanest sons of bitches in the state of Maryland! GUARANTEED!
AMERICA: SUPER IMPORTANT FOR US TO HAVE LIKE INTERNET FREEDOM AND SHIT.
EUROPE: Sure. Okay. We got ya.
THE WORLD: Us too.
*later*
EUROPE: Help us with article 11 and article 13 !
THE WORLD: Sure bro.
AMERICA: Why?
EUROPE: THEY ARE TRYING TO BAN FANDOM ! TAX LINKS. DESTROY THE INTERNET AS WE KNOW IT. BASICALLY INTERNET APOCALYPSE. JESUS IT IS SO BAD. SEND HELP. HOLY SHIT. SEND ALL THE HELP.
AMERICA: NEW PHONE. WHO DIS?
THE WORLD: …
I’m sorry I haven’t contributed. I took a small break from tumblr. Can you provide any resources that can I can have spread like a wildfire?
This is like finding a stray journal page in a ruined city that talks of some grand festival and the date of the entry is the day before the city was destroyed
pretty much anyone:(looking at a dead body) his tongue’s been cut out, almost surgically, like they were planning on using the organ for something else
hannibal: everyone come over to my house and eat this freshly prepared tongue i made
literally everyone: how delightful and unrelated to everything else going on
hannibal: I think you’ll find everything is related
straight up everyone, who have at least a graduate degree and are qualified to work for the FBI:(while eating tongue) haha, oh hannibal
every word out of guillermo del toro’s mouth is the most hardcore thing i’ve ever heard and he says it all so casually like he doesn’t even realize how much of a gothic visionary he is
“Since childhood, I’ve been faithful to monsters. I have been saved and absolved by them, because monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection, and they allow and embody the possibility of failing”
I wasn’t asked to a single dance in high school and didn’t have a serious romantic relationship until I was 22. And like, yeah that shit hurt when I was younger. I had a lot of fears that I was unlovable and that I didn’t deserve to be happy. And every time I would try to talk to anyone about it, the conversation became, “you’ll find someone”, when it should have been, “you don’t need a relationship or a date, you’re lovable & complete & beautiful on your own”.
So yeah, please normalize young people not dating, and please stop shaming them for it. There’s more to life than romance, despite what the media wants us to think.
